Saturday, 30 April 2011

The Hat of Power...

I've been feeling a bit uninspired with regards to blogging recently, though that's not to say I haven't been on and tried to write. Every time I sit down it seems to lead to a massive personal rant about genuinely insignificant things that have been ticking me off. But then something happened yesterday and I cannot help but mentioning my astonishment.

The thing that happened didn't happen to me. In fact it had nothing to do with me. It happened down in London and was broadcast via the BBC right into my television set. The thing that happened was...





 When the Princess first stepped out of the car the feed cut back to the Queen in the Abbey, and I couldn't quite bring myself to believe what I'd just seen...I wondered if it was a trick of the camera angle but...did she have a pair of antlers on her forehead? When she later reappeared on the camera, and showed her profile to the world, my worst fears were confirmed.




I'm not a fashion expert, you can ask anyone who knows me well. But whatever is or isn't in fashion, some things just don't look good. There's no doubt this extravagent piece is expertly err...sculpted...but with the greatest respect to Beatrice (because hand on heart, I love the royals, I love everything about them and I love watching them go about their perculiar little lives and wouldn't wish any of them ill) I would sooner imagine that particular little motif (I say little...it's bigger than her own face!) as a piece of plaster molding on the wall of some great and extravegant palace. God knows it's the right colour for it!

There are bigger problems in the world than the poor taste in headgear that seems to plague this poor princess (who has a bit of a reputation now for wearing everything but the kitchen sink on her noggin) but I do have to wonder...what were you thinking? Didn't you know it's rude to try and upstage the bride?

I also wonder whose idea was this. The milliner responsible for the eye catching creation was one Philip Treacy, who kitted out 36 guests with their headwear including Mrs. Beckham. She apparently had a hand in the design and it was rather sleek and elegant considering the event (a royal wedding is just prime candidacy for the wierd and wonderful in hat wear after all.)





I mean just look at it...it's a world away from that monstrosity gracing Beatrice's forehead (and it is her forehead, just how it passes for a "hat" per se is also beyond my fashion retarded brain). There can only be one conclusion...that she herself must have said "I want something that sticks from my forehead like a pair of antlers".


Well anyhow. Other than that I quite enjoyed watching the wedding yesterday and wasn't the Bride just lovely? According to my sister, mum kept going on about how much her wedding dress was like mine but to be fair I had a full lace overcoat as opposed to Kate's short bolero type thingy....All I can say is...I'm the wedding hipster, I was wearing lace over my dress before Kate Middleton :p
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Tuesday, 26 April 2011

A lovely birthday weekend!

So I got back from the  very much unfrozen north last night feeling very happy and bouncy after a lovely weekend away. I'll admit I'm feeling a little under the weather today but that's because I woke up at 3am this morning with an almost completely numb left hand..or at least, my fingers at any rate. At first I thought oh dear, I'm coming on with a migraine, but since it failed to materialize and the numbness remains I'm assuming it's some sort of repetitive strain type thing (because, you know, I have a medical degree and know all about these things, obviously...haah). At the minute the numbness has reduced down to my index finger and thumb and kind of down the edge of my middle finger but it's still odd. So I'm feeling quite as bubbly or bouncy right now because I've got my hand all strapped up and it's just freaky, but in general everything is good and Ben and I both agree that weekend away was just what the doctor ordered!

We didn't do too much because the folks had pre arranged appointments (must have been pre arranged a loooong time ago....) but we had a lovely time with my Granny, who seemed more than happy to have us there. My birthday was lovely and I got lovely gifts. From Ben I got a lovely heart shaped locket, I got a beautiful new shirt from my Gran. From the kids I got a recipe journal and from mum and dad I got a kindle, which were all wonderful and means I've been able to cross them off my 101 in 1001 list ;)

Whilst I was up I decided to finally get a start on the task of taking 1001 photos in 1001 days, which I added to the list because I never take pictures and I really wish I did more! Sadly I forgot to pack my camera but I used my phone instead. It doesn't really have a good zoom function or anything and I don't think it has a flash but for taking pictures outside in the sunshine I think it's generally much better quality than my camera (being that said camera is now 6 years old). I managed to take the first 58 piccies, but of course I'm not going to put them all up here ^_^. I've been uploading them to a select few friends and family only album on facebook for the purpose of verifiying that I actually did it and because I know my dad isn't exactly enamoured with the thought of being plastered all over the net. But for the sake of sharing my challenges with you guys, here are some of the nicest photo's from the weekend ^_^




We also built a sandcastle with a moat which I was also able to cross off my list :) It's more like a space age fortress though hehe

Haha, Spice is such a camera whore!

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Wednesday, 20 April 2011

Here's to the weekend!

I've not had too much to post about this past week and I always thought that unless I were trying to NaBlo, you shouldn't just spurt out random rubbish. Still, I've missed typing away so I thought I should probably pop my head in and say "hey, I'm still alive!"

Tomorrow is the start of my weekend as we board the coach for County Durham. I've got a million and one things that need to be sorted but I'm so very hot and I can't open the windows to cool off...hayfever season is well and truly here and I've burnt up about three forests worth of tissues today alone! Plus I've been awake since half five when three young *ahem* gentlemen crashed a car into (I assume from the looks of the scene) the school gates opposite my bedroom and woke me up before fleeing the scene (leading to the initial conclusion that the damned thing must have been stolen but who knows huh...).

Alas, despite the fact that I'm tired and streaming mucus and wanna just curl up in bed with the fan on me, chores need to be done. For one, I need to pack (not too an arduous task) and I need to run through the kitchen and bathroom with the bleach and a scrubber...not that either is particularly horrendous, indeed I've actually grown a taste for this housekeeping gig...but I always have terrible visions of coming back from time away to find creatures growing and/or breeding in the flat.

This isn't helped by the fact that for all I know there already are little creatures growing and/or breeding in the place while we're already here. Ben swore that he'd heard scratching in the walls for a while and then on, I think, Thursday night last week, we heard an almighty loud SQUEAK...oh yes, we had mice and they were fighting amongst each other.

Ben named "the mouse" Benedict. It's a little tradition we have...it's not the first time we've had mice in here and last time I believe we had Sir Cuthbert and Count Friedrick von Squeakenburg. A lot of people are afraid of mice, and when they appear out of seemingly no where and dash at lightening speed accross your living room floor it can be quite startling. Naming the mice was one of the ways in which we managed to overcome our anxieties and illogical and ill placed fear of them. It is a good technique right up until the point you have to dispatch them and find yourself even more illogically emotionally attached to them. Sadly we've no place to let them free without putting others at risk of an invasion, and that to me is irresponsible considering the disease they potentially carry. Sending them as humanely as possible to mousey heaven by hand was usually the only option (when for example the snap trap only caught their leg or they found themselves in a glue trap and unable to move but very much alive). We've both spilled a few tears over those furry little darlings.

Saturday, shortly after posting my last blog whilst Ben was at work, something caught the corner of my eye. I turned to see Benedict staring up at me from under the desk.

Look at him...taunting me with his mousey eyes...

 He made a few more appearences from there. I groaned inwardly, but when Ben got home we decided it was probably high time we moved the desk out from its resting place and take a peak underneath which hadn't happened since we rolled it into place the first time two and a half years ago, and something which filled us with trepidation since it is up on wheels and has a solid shelf bottom on which to place the computer...in other words there was quite a considerable area of carpet that hadn't seen the light of day for a looong time.

What we found was more or less as bad as we expected and Ben got to cleaning. I'll admit I had to step back and allow him to do the lion's share since the dust was making me ill, though despite what he will say I did do an awful lot of decluttering and sorting and organizing of various belongings which had over the years migrated to that part of the flat. Behind the desk is a small shelf like skirting board which I presume acts as a cover for the hot water pipes leading from the boiler to the kitchen and bathroom... it had a few little mousey presents on it so we scrubbed it with bleach (you may or may not have guessed, but when it comes to making sure things are SUPER CLEAN I will automatically reach for a cleaner containing bleach. I love the chlorine smell...makes me think mmmm clean...). We also cleaned out a cubby hole by the desk underneath the kitchen counter (our flat is open plan so this cubby hole is in the back of the kitchen cupboards if that makes sense...) where the pipes emerge and the mice seem to have been using as an entry point. We had been storing old games and VHS's (which we no longer have a player for so go figure) which I have been begging Ben to get rid of since we were still in a shared student house. We also bleached the hell out of this, especially around the presumed mouse holes. We hoovered and dusted and chucked old junk out and bleached some more for good measure, hoping that the strong smell would discourage any further emergences of the little beasts.

We looked upon our achievement with pride, cleared and decluttered and dusted, we had managed to clean up and clear a not inconsiderable area which was previously unusable (and space in our tiny flat is at a premium).

And then little Benedict came waddling along the freshly bleached skirting board, looking at us as if to say "wow chaps, thanks for the room service!"

So we've set the traps. He made very public appearences all throughout the weekend right up until yesterday...I've no doubt he's still around, just biding his time...my fear is that "while the cats are away the mice will play" and especially fear that he may end up in the trap and start to stink the place out while we're away. Still, we can't just leave him to it. Sigh.

Well anyway, tomorrow whether or not he be around, whether or not the bathroom be pristine, whether or not my nose is running like Niagara Falls, we'll be headed up North to celebrate Easter and Birthday merriment and I am very much looking forward to it!
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Saturday, 16 April 2011

Six Word Saturday - Birthday!



I'm so excited for my birthday!

It's the most excited about a birthday that I've felt probably since I turned 18. Since everyone outside of my family pretty much forgot that particular day of mine I think I started dropping my standards from then! And it's shown...it's not that I don't like recieving gifts or doing something that I want to do, but I hate rubbing it in people's faces or making them feel obliged to do something for me. And then there's the fact that the past few years have been very lean...we really couldn't do anything much for the occassion up until last year, and that was such a spontaneous thing that I didn't have time to get excited about it!

Anyhow, comfortable old habit has it that at Easter we usually go down south to stay with Ben's family for the weekend but this year the Easter weekend is really late and lands slap bang on my birthday. So I thought well, we usually go somewhere over Easter, since it's my birthday we should take a break from the norm and go up north to see my family.

And now I'm all excited ^_^ We're staying with my Granny this time round so as to avoid the nasty effect that cats have on me but it's only for the weekend and we'll be up at the folks no doubt every day anyhow (my poor Gran will need her rest time from us no doubt after all :D). I really really really hope the weather stays good and we can go to the seaside or something...there's no seaside like the north east seaside (Sorry, Blackpool, personal taste I guess) and I can get to work on task 62 hopefully with the help of Nat and Chiz (hopefully that is, if Nat isn't too busy playing with his lamePod or some such thing...stupid kids growing up in to stupid adults...should be illegalized). And of course I can get started on my photo's too. I would have already done so, except there's nothing really too exciting to photograph here in my flat :p

So yes, for now I'm feeling really really very excited for my birthday and I can't wait to see the folks and please oh powers that be please make next weekend up north lovely and sunny and warm ^_^

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Friday, 15 April 2011

Assassins Creed Annonymous: My name is Bex, and I hide in haystacks

So yesterday, CVG launched its WRONG Campaign against "Witless and Ridiculous Opinions Of Non-Gamers" in response to the comments of Anne Diamond and Matthew Wright on that bastion of British opinion, "The Wright Stuff" on FIVE. You can follow the link and see what sparked the vitriolic hate filled rant of a campaign against the tarnishing of gamers and the games they play. 


Alternately, you could stick around here and read another point of view. The view that, perhaps, these people really are blessed with a keen insight which allows them to see the truth* about a gamers soul damning habit. The truth which the rest of the gaming world would rather keep hidden for fear that their next "hit" may be taken away from them should it ever be revealed to the world at large.


I'm not a huge gamer. I don't really follow the news or the trends, I don't trawl wikis or look into the extra content. It's a rare thing that I really get into a game. This isn't so much because I'm uninterested in games, but it's because I know the truth and take steps to protect myself, like shunning games from my life. It isn't easy, especially with my husband being entangled in the gaming industry's web of lies; it makes it all the harder to keep their evil influence out of my home. We have bookshelves absoloutely full of the accursed things. Just looking at them makes me break out in a cold sweat, and then when I inevitably break and peel a disc carefully out of its case, I get hooked to the point of dependence. I mean, it gets really really bad. I can't sleep, because all I'm thinking about is when I can get back on the Xbox. This is something that happens to 99.9% of gamers**, and is possibly the root of all the evil


Despite the addictive potential of such games I thought I'd managed to strike a good game-life balance. I restrained my gaming to only 17 hours of each day (pretty good going compared to some who spend some 32 terrifying hours every day*** of their lives playing games!) and even managed to tear myself away for long enough to cook wholesome food for my husband and I to fuel our forrays into Cyrodil as opposed to the traditional but wreckless gamer diesel: Hot Pockets. I even invested in a Wii Fit so that I could turn some gaming time into active workout time too, so that what little time I had with my consoles would at least be somewhat physically healthy. Playing so long left little time for other activities such as sleeping or finding a job or going to the toilet. Modern medicine provided the answer to that last one, and the threat of witholding certain physical marital acts kept Ben going to work each and every day to pay for our habit (not that we had time for that either mind you, but the male brain works in strange ways and the threat of me actively witholding the stuff from him was enough to get him running).


So all in all, compared to other gamers who eventually die penniless and covered in layers of their own excrement**** we had things going pretty well.


Until we got Assasins Creed Brotherhood with its multiplayer games...


Now, hand on heart, I didn't even have a Gold Account till this point, but watching Ben play (when he was back from work earning me money of course) "Wanted" had me enthralled - he was running around assassinating real people!!! I wanted in on the action! I immediately went to the bank to take out the massive loan needed to pay for the premium account needed to play online***** and began stalking my prey.


I struggled after this to keep my life-game balance in the equilibrium that I'd enjoyed for so long. It didn't take long for Ben to realise that I was taking up way more time than I used to, and he became violent and aggressive towards me. Having his precious gaming hours trimmed away was just too much for his over worked and under gamed brain to handle. He confronted me one evening when I had failed to prepare his dinner and demanded that I seek help for my problem. I, being so enthralled by the game, merely grunted in response to his demands. At this point, things began to get really scary.


He stormed out of the living room and into the bedroom. I barely noticed at all, but when machine gun fire smashed the television I was brought up short. I confronted him as to where his weapon had come from.


"I've been keeping it under the bed!" he mocked me.

"What, with our N64?"


"Precisely"

"You monster!"


What followed was the most unbridled act of domestic violence Merseyside Police have ever had to deal with and eventually they had to shrug and admit the RSPCA should probably be called out. It was also the very first time a couple have been begged by the authorities to just get a damned divorce already. When the case was taken before the courts, an epic year long battle over who should get possession of the Xbox was fought and eventually I was given weekend visitation rights.


Shaken over the breakup of my marriage and the loss of custody of my precious Xbox, I was at my lowest. The worst time for game withdrawl to hit me. At one point I found myself shopping in Liverpool city centre when a young child taking a merry stroll with its mother rushed towards me, probably chasing a duck or other such wild creature that frequents the city streets. That's when the hallucinations kicked in. What I saw was not a small, gleeful child but a vengeful Llama of death, and its happy laughter was the screeching call of Satan himself. And then the worst...a great flashing neon red arrow appeared above its mighty head...the creature was a templar, hired by abstergo to kill me...

At this point I may or may not have lost control of my bowels, but my gaming instinct kicked in and my many hours of training for this moment clicked into place. I would not let the Abstergo Llama fiend get me, for I was trained in the way of avoiding such a horrific death. I reached in my pocket where, for some reason unknown to any but God himself, I found a stash of smoke bombs. I threw it at the Llama who was instantly stunned. Then I took my chance and rushed forward, kung-fu chopping the beast accross its neck, screaming my war cry of "PWNED MUTHAFUKA!"

I stood, surveying the carnage around me, hands on hips and chest inflated with pride. When the smoke finally cleared a child lay twitching at my feat covered in Red Bull and urine, its horrified mother weeping inconsolably. There was no sign of the hellish Abstergo Llama, who had obviously brutalised the poor mite****** however the police were charging towards me.


I behaved as any law abiding citizen would at this point and, seeing the end was near, bloody legged it till I found a convenient haystack which I promptly lept into. As my breathing decreased and the rush of adrenaline finally began to ebb I found myself not to be within a sweet soft haystack (and in the middle of Liverpool, what the hell was I hallucinating haystacks for anyway?) but in the back seat of a blue Ford Focus, the glass from its shattered window littered around me and leaving forensic evidence everywhere. There was no escaping it. I was apprehended and brought in.


And so it is from here on the inside that I'm finally telling my REAL story to you, to warn you of the dangerous mind altering powers of game addiction. Pay no heed to the fools and CVG, their WRONG campaign is aptly named...it is indeed very very wrong, and wise and sage men and women such as Anne Diamond and Matthew Wright should be applauded for their depth of insight and knowlege of the games industry and the evil devil pressed discs that they peddal.


And a note to parents; don't let your children go through what I went through. Don't let them play video games. I know that'll mean you have to actually pay attention to them or hire an actual babysitter but surely that's better than falling prey to the devastating effects of game addiction as I have. It's only a matter of time before they begin stashing machine guns under their beds with their nintendo's.


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* It's the truth because I say it is.
** Figures taken straight out of my big fat backside, much like Anne Diamond realy...
*** Scientists have proven beyond doubt that the Xbox warps the fabric of space-time
**** It does too happen, have you never been to Korea?
***** They don't like to flash it around, but gamers have to take out loan upon loan, sometimes even remortgaging their parents houses behind their backs just to afford to pay for the Xbox multiplayer gold service
****** My counsellor has now helped me work through my issues and I know there was never any Llama, so rest assured you can sleep safely in your beds without fear tonight

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

Wee bit wednesday (1)



{one} have you ever fainted?
Once, when I was getting blood taken. My veins were, usually for that period in my life for some reason unknown to all, rather dry and not feeling too generous. I don't like needles, though a slew of hormonal tests over the past five years has toughened me up to them now. Back then it was a rare and horrific occasion. The nurse prodded and poked and twisted and squezed. Eventually she got a pump out to pump the blood right out of my arm! At this point I'd had just about enough and that was that.

{two} what is your favorite casino game?
Never been to a casino.

{three} do you have a good sense of direction?
Yes, although I will admit there have been a few times when it has failed me!

{four} laptop or desktop?
I prefer the setup of a desktop but currently my laptop is the better of the two and I haven't even touched the desktop since the laptop came into our care at Xmas.

{five} what is your go-to hair style when having a bad hair day?
Push back my fringe with a hairband and tie the ends back in a ponytail.

{six} do you read the newspaper on a daily basis?
No, but I watch the 6 o clock news every day and usually have the beeb's news site on in the backround when on the internet.

{seven} do you have a favorite celebrity chef?
Probably Jamie Oliver, though I think Gordon Ramsey is more entertaining.

{eight} what tv show would you like to make a guest appearance on?
True Blood. I'd make an awesome Maenad.

{nine} do you have satellite radio in your car?
Nope. I don’t have a car.

{ten} what was the last movie that made you cry?
I watched "Anna and the King" yesterday while doing some repair work to Ben's rain coat. Can't count the number of times I've watched that film, and can't tell you how little of it I actually saw since I was concentrating on sewing in a straight line, but I still bawled like a baby when Princess Fa-Ying died, and again when the King asks her to dance at the very end and the voice over is all "yeah he's dancing with the woman he loves but she's just a teacher so they can't be together" *weep*
 
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Sunday, 10 April 2011

Day 26 - What kind of person attracts you?

Once again this could be a pretty ambiguous, in what way do you mean attract? That said, I'm assuming it means romantically. It wouldn't be too much of a stretch to list the things, and that makes me giggle a bit because it makes me think of the song "21 things I want in a lover" by Alanis Morissette.

I remember when the album Under Rug Swept first came out. A friend of mine got hold of it and we listened to it through. We thought it was odd. I'm sure we weren't the first people in the world to think Alanis was odd, though with age I began to appreciate what she was singing about. At the time, however, I can't even describe it, something about it just sat strangely with our young brains. Most of all 21 things. We, for some reason, thought this was a very pretentious song, and the things she listed seemed very particular indeed.

Hmm. I'm going to have to dig the album out and give it another listen now methinks.

Anyhow, todays topic most definitely reminds me of this song, so here is my list of 21 things that I want in a lover
  1. Be able to take a joke. Sometimes I take no prisoners. Sometimes I'm just a dufus and don't think before I speak, so it's very important that you can take it!
  2. Have a thick skin. Not just to be able to deal with me but because weak people turn me off. I need to mother and protect such people, and whilst I'm not saying I can't or don't mother and protect my beloved (because I clearly do) it will only go so far before it gets in the way of my ability to ever see someone that way
  3.  Be flawed. People who present a "perfect" picture of themselves are usually too wrapped up in being perfect to actually pay attention to anyone else but themselves, and sorry, but I can't abide with being sidelined by someone elses ego when I have to so constantly work at curbing my own!
  4. Be a good listener. Ok there are times when Ben will start going on about something or other. Some racing series I give a shit about, or wrestling or something and I'll totally blank him. And then there are times when I'll start talking about "oh my god my virtual horses are dying! Oh my!" and he will blank me. But when it comes to the important stuff, we're very attentive. This particular point is none negotiable. I've tried to make it work with people who were less than attentive to what I had to say and, well, obviously it just didn't happen.
  5. You have to be ultra patient because I'm very trying, and I couldn't cope with someone who hasn't the patience to put up with some of my bad habits.
  6. Can't be too skinny. I like to cuddle, and I don't like it when bones stick into me :p
  7. Gotta have an interesting accent. This stems from the fact that I listen more than I talk (generally) and I like to listen to something pleasant :p
  8. Gotta appreciate creativity. I never really thought my parents appreciated mine (except, golly gosh, anything to do with music!) and so now that I'm an adult and don't have to hide it away I can't be dealing with anyone who has the same attitude as them in this regards.
  9. Gotta be able to hold an intelligent conversation.
  10. Never mind just being able to talk about it, you need to be intelligent full stop. Once again, I've tried out the alternate and it ended up really bad. For him.
  11. Some people who are intelligent try to sit on the fence and dont seem to have any opinions. It's as if they're afraid of offending or getting it wrong. No no no no no. You need to have opinions, even if they're not mine.
  12. And with regards to said opinions, you have to be able to realise that arguments or debates surrounding differing opinions really don't matter and you shouldn't take them personally. Agree to disagree and all that jazz.
  13. I'm not bothered about a "perfect body". What I do require, however, is some nice arm definition. Mmmmm....
  14. You have to give a shit about your fellow man, I couldn't ever see myself with anyone who just didn't care for the human condition.
  15. The same old same old here...you need to be able to make me laugh!
  16. You need to have an appreciation for the "finer" things in life. Good food especially. I don't mean all of the time, I'm not that kind of person anyway, but so long as you are partial to partaking in such wonderful things then we're going to get along famously.
  17. You need to be able to socialize at least SOME of the time! 
  18. You need to be politically aware. That's straight from Alanis's list I admit, but it's the truth!
  19. You need to be up for experimentation. I don't necissarily mean in only one particular area.
  20. Along with that, being adventurous in general is desirable.
  21. Send me flowers once in a while!
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