Beat The Heat challenge - Week Seven

1 - What have you done this week to work towards your goals?

• I've lost all but one pound of what I put on over my "holiday week" with the parents. Our food hasn't necissarily been healthy all the time, but being busy we've not snacked on crap at the end of the day and this has certainly helped. I've totally dropped off on the calorie counting...I feel disillusioned with it, I've not gained healthy eating habits but have managed to gain a few unhealthy ones, which are too numerous and actually ridiculous to list here. I've plans to take up Weight Watchers for a fresh perspective and a new kick start, so in the meantime I've been very focussed on eating healthy sized portions and three decent meals a day.
• Not sure I'll be making hand made Christmas presents for everyone as planned. Doing that was a response to being unemployed (and therefore skint) but now having a job I find I'll have the money to buy, but without the time to make...see my predicament? I'm currently aiming to finish the knitted piece I started in the first place by the end of the challenge.
• I started my weight loss tracker bracelet last night and would have finished it except tiredness hit me suddenly like a brick wall! Should be finished today though :)  - Just finished it after this blog entry, but as I have to be leaving the house in fifteen minutes I shall show it to you all tomorrow ^_^
• I've had to really work on keeping up with my chores, and it isn't helped that I sometimes have to run around putting shit away that should already have been put away in the first instance (like fighting a loosing battle at times) however it gets done. I officially hate cables and wires, but it gets done!

2 - What did you do to make yourself feel fabulous?

I've had a bit of an epiphany week. I feel fabulous this week because I find myself wonderfully happy with my lot in life right at this point in time!

3 - If your house was on fire and you could grab ONE thing (outside people and your laptop/computer, they are all out) what would it be?

This is a toughy. If I was thinking logically it would be my file of all our paper documents. I thought I might say my asthma meds etc but they can be replaced for free...however passports, birth certificates etc all cost a bomb to replace! However if I was thinking emotionally it would probably be my jewellery box. I don't have a lot of jewellery but everything I wear on a regular basis has special meaning to me for one reason or another.

4 - Tell us about your blog. Treat it like a book, what's happened so far?

Well it started off in January of this very year as a way to record my last few months in Liverpool as we were planning on moving back to the North East, and to create a more personal link for friends in Liverpool to keep up with me (there's only so much you can say in a facebook status!). It was meant to tell a story, but as it became evident that we would not be moving it morphed into more of a tale of personal development and progression, epitomised by the various challenges I signed up for. These are no fluffy little challenges either; it has helped me to change a few aspects of myself that I wanted to change. I probably could have changed these things without the blog, but that doesn't mean I would have.

5 - Tell an embarrasing story about yourself. No dodging.

When I was 16 I started going to Taekwondo classes. My dad had done it as a teen/young adult and wanted to get back into it to loose a few stone, and my sister had also dabbled in it in the past. It seemed like a great way for us as a family to get fitter. The instructor lifted weights as well as doing Taekwondo and he was really big on physical fitness, therefore only about half of our session was dedicated to the topic at hand...the first hour was always spent doing laps around the hall, push ups, squats, stretching, you name it we did it. It was a rigorous warm up and physical conditioning programme, and looking back on it now if my stupid local yokel doctor hadn't been an idiot and keept me on an 11 year old childs dose of "preventor" inhalor for my asthma (I was already at this point at least 5ft 10" tall and about 224 pounds - I did NOT have the body or lungs of an 11 year old child!) I could have fit as a fiddle. Either way, I was the fittest then than I'd ever been before or ever have been since.

But I was still 224 pounds (probably a bit more, but I know I've put on about a stone in weight for every year of my life so that's just a ball park figure really) with a big round tummy and a big bum, and what many call thunder thighs. I would say it was more like big bass drum thighs because there aint no thunder like the thunder in my thighs right now, but I digress.

You'll all have seen the kind of uniform you have to wear for martial arts. Taekwondo shirts aren't wrap arounds (thank God!) but they're all prety much white pyjama suits. They don't come in ladies size 20 (I think I was about a ladies size 20 then, or wavering between 18 and 20) you order them based on your height. They're pretty spacious anyhow, they have to be to allow for movement, so when my first set finally came I was delighted. It was a bit tight around the hips perhaps but nothing tragic.

Oh how I was mistaken.

All that fitness we did beforehand? After our 30 laps or so, the instructor lined us up in rows, and in order of seniority, seniority dictated first by grade (belt colour) then by age, the most senior at the front and the least senior at the back. It just so happened that this evening we had two black belts, one or two other intermediate grades then a whole army of us new beginners, so I was stood in the front row with everyone else right behind me as our instructor had us begin standing squats.

I can still remember the rip roaring, ear drum bursting BANG that sounded as my butt burst the seam of my "pyjama" pants right open, infront of pretty much everyone in the room. And let me tell you, these aren't cheap old pieces of tat. They're well made, quality pieces of workmanship. Those seams are tough as old boots.

The funny thing is that after a moment of going bright red I got over it, grabbed my hoody and tied it around my waist so as to hide my bum shame, and got on with it for the rest of the night. I think I earned myself some brownie points of respect that evening. I'm probably more embarrased now than I was then. Kinda wish I still had the same motivation I had then, the same determination. I probably do have somewhere, I just need to find something that inspires it as much as that did back then.

And finally, the positive picutre of the week. You know me, I'm not one for taking my camera around with me so it's another filched photo. Everything in the news this week has been doom and gloom with senseless riots having taken place up and down the country, ridiculous criminality, little scally idiots trying to cash in on a free pair of trainers or, infamously, a bag of tesco value basmati rice. It actually really suprised me that they hit us here in Liverpool. Outsiders (hahaha, yeah, 'outsiders') may not have been suprised, and seven years ago I might not have been suprised, as Liverpool still has a notorious reputation to said 'outsiders'. However, having lived here for five or six years now, just about every native of the city always seems so proud to be a part of it and very family or community oriented. Yeah you do get some bad stuff that goes on, people fight and steal cars and crash them into school walls and nick your post...but those are individual crimes by individual low lives that you could find anywhere in the world. To have so many people from the place group together to trash it up and make the place look a burnt out dump really did suprise me. But anyhow, enough of their idiocy, they have had too much coverage, so my positive picture is this;

This of course is not Liverpool, but London where it all kicked off. However, it would seem that these so called "Riot Wombles" popped up wherever the rioters did to clean up the mess they left in their wake, wherever that was in the country. Not paid, not pressured, just united in their common cause to put wrongs to somewhat right again. If politicians wanted to talk about communities fractured and broken by the actions of their opposing parties being the cause of these riots, I believe pictures like this show that they're wrong.

God Bless the Riot Wombles!

Six Word Saturday - Loving Work

It's insane, but I'm loving it!

Hahaha, ok, I haven't actually mentioned where my new job is on my blog, and I don't intend to because we've all heard the horror stories of employers tracking you down. It's a high street name here in the UK, although you wouldn't find families in there and you wouldn't neccissarily buy anything of use either (and despite my six words, it's not McDonalds). It is hereby known as "the shop".

It's not a testing job by any stretch of the imagination, and some of the clinentelle are less than savoury. The old men are a bit lecherous at times and the young men can be surly and intimidating. The women on the other hand are lovely so it all evens out.

My workmates are stars, and very patient. During our induction we were only really taken through things like health and safety, crime prevention in the workplace and personal security. We weren't told anything about the meat of our work, how to do it, how to use the till system and how to process our customers orders, so I've felt at times like the biggest n00b in the whole wide world. But my colleagues have shown an amazing ammount of patience In the space of a week I've learned more about this particular product than I'd done in my entire life to date, and it wasn't as if I've never had any experience at all with it.

In other jobs, particularly a certain sales based one, they couldn't spare you the time of day (even though, once again, the induction was based entirely around sales tactics and health and safety as opposed to how to actually do the job) because their own personal gain was at risk if they took any time out to help...and yet this was the meat and bones of the over all training. It was ridiculous. The same can't be said about this place, and when I'm on my first evening shift tonight (which should be quiet, apparently) I'll finally be sitting down to learn some of the nitty gritty aspects with my assistant manager.

It's a minimum wage gig and it probably won't be a 'career job' (and as much as I enjoy it now whilst I'm buzzing around in my bubbles of 'new job' high doesn't mean I'll feel the same way in 3 months time) but for now it's freaking awesome. It's probably more to do with the fact that I'm in work at all as opposed to this job in particular, but this along with some of the recent changes I've made to my life means I currently feel happier than I have done in a long, long time.

Weight Watchers, anyone?

So, I've been contemplating treating myself to a 3 month Weight Wathers Online subscription with my shiny shiny pay cheque. I know of people who have had great success with WW, but I know probably twice as many for whome it did nothing. That, however, seems to be more to do with them not sticking to it correctly than there being a flaw in the programme.

I dabbled briefly once with Slimming World and it didn't go well. I had even less will power than I do now (Yes, that is actually possible) and after the first week in which I had some initial success I basically fucked it off. Everything was on paper and I didn't like the group leader. Frankly she was a self righteous bitch, but hey that might just be me.

It put me off meetings, I didn't want to be patronized and spoken down to like just because I'm fat I know nothing about how to loose weight or stay healthy (I know quite a bit, I just have more....psychological issues/lack of willpower/issues surrounding being a lazy bones). So I've shied away from it all, and besides, WW was just a fancy way of counting calories that you have to pay for (the old system based the point content of any given food on the calorific content and fat content) and I could count calories for myself just as (if not more, since most foods have calorie content written on the packaging) easily and for free.

I first started reconsidering my attitude towards WW when they brought out their highly publicized propoints system which takes into account not only the calorie content and fat, but other nutritional values such as carbohydrate, protein and fibre. It means that fruit which once cost one or two points is now free, and foods that are both filling and nutritious are promoted through their lower points values.

At the time I was having my first round of success with calorie counting alone so I continued onwards. I got my second interest in WW however when I saw how awesomely it was helping my sister in law out. She kinda talked me round to it in a big way. However, I was a little too skint to pay out for the membership.

I'm still not thrilled with the idea of going to meetings, and having looked the meetings up I don't think I'll be able to make them with my new timetable anyhow, but I'm definitely going to give the online version a go. Having noseyed around it looks like a flashier version of MFP but with more tools (a recipe database for example). I think actually paying for it will help (Im a sucker for getting the most out of my money), and as anything gadgety gets me hooked I'm sure I'll love working out the points value of all my favourite recipe's.

The other major reason I think this could help me more than mere calorie counting is that I have to face it, whilst I can and do stay within my calorie limit I'm not eating particularly healthy or nutritious meals. I've tried to track my macro nutrients on MFP in the past but it's such a big juggle it's ridiculous, so hopefully if I stick to lower point scorring foods I'll be automatically doing that. Plus at the minute, you know, I have to count all my fruit...I won't have to on WW so I'll probably be inclined to eat much much more!


Anyhow, I'll let you know how I fare on it of course. It may be a huge waste of money, or it may be the best thing I ever did.

Beat The Heat challenge - Week Six

Appologies for being a day late this week, but I've been rather busy with work and family and friends and all kinds of wonderful lovely things!




So onwards we go!


1.       What have you done this week to help you achieve your goals? 

To be honest this past week I haven't done an awful lot of anything in particular towards me goals. It's been very hectic and I'm still adjusting to my new routine. Not only have I got a new job but this week my training with ChildLine begins and I'm still getting my head around how to squeeze my life (for example, the weekly/monthly chores rota I came up with as part of my BTH challenge to keep up with my chores) around these new commitments.

Oh, but speaking of chores, remember this?

The corner of shame. Oh how shameful it was...

Well it is now this:

 There's actually SPACE! And see that artfully placed throw cushion? I'm getting domesticated I am...but seriousy, this is the first time since we moved in here that there hasn't been a load of crates jammed in there and overflowing with junk. We now have a suitase filled with the few books we can't fit on our shelves and everything is neat and tidy and stored away in a relatively organised manner. To put it bluntly, "I'm well chuffed" with that!

2.       What have you done this week to make you feel fabulous? 

Becky came over for a catch up. Which was lovely. It was fantastic to be able to have a friend over when the place wasn't full to bursting with rubbish, and also we shared some delicious pink champagne type stuff which was yummy, and who doesn't feel fabulous when sharing pink champagne with their best friend?

3.       Do you feel you get everything out of your life? Would you like to change things or are you happy where you are 

I'm not getting as much as I could have been by this point had life run smoothly and to plan. But what life does run to plan? The past couple of months feels like I've finally "woken up" and started doing stuff with myself. Given the circumstances, I think I'm squeezing about 80% of awesome from what I have to hand. What I want to change is gradually changing and just require us to work towards it for the time being.

4.       What’s your ultimate favourite food? Is it healthy? Can you make it healthy? 

Cheese. Or meat. Or meat and cheese collated in a great big pile of cheesy, meaty awesomeness. My meal tonight will be a home made spicy chicken calzone, which involves both cheese and meat (amongst other things!), and it will come to a mighty 663 calories. I think that's pretty healthy ^_^

5.       What do you want to be when you grow up? 

Haha, "when" I grow up? I doubt I'll ever reach that point in time!

As for my positive picture for the week...see above for my wonderful clean and tidy corner of shame! How more positive can you get? :D

Six Word Saturday - Foodie Fail

I broke the weight loss plateau!

(In totally the wrong direction)

I knew I'd probably put on a couple of pounds this week but I didn't think I'd be back in "The Wii says I'm so fat it isn't even gonna weigh me let alone let me work out on it" territory. I'm not gutted or anything, there's various reasons, a couple above and beyond the simple "I ate like a pig last week". A little angry with myself because of course eating like a pig did have a lot to do with it though; I didn't need to get that slice of cake in Costa, I could have had fruit juice instead of hot chocolate at the zoo, I didn't have to order that second cocktail, I didn't need that large popcorn at the cinema, and when we were at pizza hut I could have probably skipped the starter since there is now unlimited free salad (which I did indulge in). There are more but these are to name a few.

Shoulda woulda coulda. But we also walked for miles each day, I pushed (with help) a rather heavy rusty car wheel accross wet sand (erm...pictures later lol). I was up at the crack of dawn each morning raring to go and absoloutely exhausted when I went to bed each night. When it came to meal times I was famished. Perhaps the meals themselves could have been less calorific and healthier choices, but I was famished before each and every one. I ate because I was hungry.

Add the fact that (TMI time boys) that I had my first "visit from Aunt Flo" in oh...three...four years...and have lost 2 centimetres from my waist over the past two weeks despite the extra weight I've added (my hands and feet on the other hand....) and I'm not sweating over the weight gain. The important thing now is to make sure it comes off again, and that it doesn't happen yet again at the end of this month. To this end I'm going to make a pact that should I feel the need to "treat" myself at the end of this month for all my hard work in earning a pay cheque, it won't be with food but instead with lovely clothes or perhaps some of my favourite brand makeup (which is, by the way, Urban Decay...that was a hint to Ben for future reference) or perhaps I'll even go to the hair dresser and get my roots done or even go and get a manicure or something...ANYTHING but a takeout or a three course meal or tons of sweeties. I've managed to make excuses the past 6 months about why I've worked so hard at loosing 12 pounds then regained the lot. This month happened to be that my family were down. No more, I swear to God no more because I'm sick of seeing the same numbers going up and down over and over again.

Changes

Aside from a brief Beath the Heat entry on Monday I've been away from blogging all this week. Partially because I NaBlo'ed in July and was sick of having to force an entry every day, and partially because I've been so busy with my family who came to visit.

It's been an absoloutely lovely couple of days, with lots of eating, lots of walking, lots of having fun. Me and the siblings went absoloutely barmy on the beach yesterday with a poor disheartened Ben looking onwards (yet still indulging us, you can't deny it my dear!).

The next couple of months look like they're going to be jam packed full of activity. I've spoken before about how basically the past year has been sat around doing nothing. Well between my new job, the extra training scheduled in for that until December and the training schedule for ChildLine (I'm enrolled on a Switchboard course next week, and the week after that all being well I'll start my counsellor training) I'm basically going from 0-60 almost instantaneously.


I would be lying if I said I wasn't intimidated by this at all, I'm very much intimidated. I've got all kinds of worries...will I crumble under the pressure of trying to prove myself in my new role whilst at the same time going through a long and rigorous training process with ChildLine and trying to fit their rigid, unflexible timetable around my new jobs extremely flexible approach to work. Will I be able to organise my life to fit everything in. I know that none of my training clashes, but given how tired I felt just after my first day of training will I be able to cope with hopping from work to volunteering and keep myself fully fuelled and happy. I fear cracking under the pressure, but I don't want to give up this chance (I've already given up so many chances and opportunities in my life). If it means I have to spend a couple of months rushed off my feet then so be it.


And besides, perhaps actually being a little rushed will be good for me. I think I've become soft and complacent and much too comfortable. I know that unless I push myself this complacancy will keep me rutted down where I am, going no where. Ben has expressed a worry that weekend shifts and training days and late nights at either work or CL will mean we don't see each other much but we've lived in each others pockets an awful lot since we got married, in fact my last job was for the same company as him and we would hang around waiting for each other after work. Whilst I am independant in my social life and he's happy for me to go spend time with friends without him, I think it's time I regained some independance in other areas. I know he'll always support me in what I wish to do, and at the end of the day we have eight splendid hours of cuddling together each and every night.


Yes, the thought of all this change is scary. It's like an earthquake, things have been so quiet, events building up to this point in time, and now boom, suddenly everything is "released" and things have quite suddenly moved forwards. But you know, it's rather exciting too.

Anyhow, I'm heading off now as I have to go shopping for new work trousers (my old ones are too big!) and food for the week (and trust me when I say that after the familial bonding done this past week it's all going to be dead healthy food!). In the meantime, a lovely picture which Ben took at the beach yesterday.

I studied the ripple marks on this very beach when I was in University...so lovely to be able to just enjoy them for their natural beauty now!

Beat The Heat challenge - Week Five

We're officially half way through the challenge now!






1. What have you done this week to work towards your goals?

• I've worked out for at least half an hour each and every day and even managed to be 0.1 of a pound lighter when it came to weigh in day. Not much, but it's something at least :) I'm feeling a tad apprehensive about this week with the family etc, however I have been exercising restraint over my food over the weekend, and so if I can keep that restraint up this week hopefully it will mean it's not a huge blip.
• I started my new job today, so I think I can officially say that I don't need to worry about the job hunt goal any longer ^_^
• The corner of shame is no longer shameful! However I may leave the picture posting for just now, perhaps I'll post it next week since I'm currently feeling absoloutely cream crackered from my first day back at work.

2. What have you done to make yourself feel fabulous?

I've been paying extra attention to my appearence over the past week. Since I've had interviews etc to be done it's been important to maintain a spick and span appearence; curled hair, tweezed eyebrows etc. It's been a while since I allowed myself this kind of time to do it, and it's been lovely to strut down the street in my heels knowing Im looking slick.


3. How are you finding your goals this challenge? Do you still think you can achieve them?

I don't think I'm going to achieve all of them, but I've already accomplished 2 of them and I don't see any problems facing me completing at least a couple more.

4. Freebie! If you want to change one goal change it. Explain your decision even if you don’t change any.

I'd probably change my recipe goal to include more, as I went cooking mad over the weekend and now have four new recipe's just from this weekend alone to include in my recipe book. I think three was a little conservative, but then again I would have kicked myself if I'd set goals that were too high, especially on my first challenge.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Your funds are unlimited!

Me and Ben have always said we'd like to live in Canada. Nice climate (that is, not too hot! So many Brits retire to Spain or Australia or the south of France for the weather but I just couldn't cope living in that heat full time!) and nice wilderness. Whilst neither of us have ever been (though we plan on going some day!) it has always appealed and the Canadians we've met in our joint lifetimes have always seemed so nice and friendly. Plus, you know...Moose live there.