As you will know by my excited bleating, I am currently preparing to move house. Or rather, move from my tiny flat into an actual house.
This is turning out to be both more stressful and more expensive than first anticipated. We first got excited by the prospect of no deposit required (being that we are sticking with our same landlord) but the other expenses of course mount up. Not least of all because, for example, my kitchen wear has chosen this specific moment to start breaking down (a new set of pans required) or that, having moved the boxes and crates we were storing in our bedroom we realised the damp problem was way, way bigger than first thought, and whether through our actions causing the spores to be disturbed and spread or because of the very wet, cold weather we've had lately, the problem has litterally doubled in the space of a couple of weeks and has given us cause to basically "burn everything with fire" - new sheets for the bed, duvet and pillow sets etc...it all adds up!
I've managed to get rid of a lot of junk, which is great, yet the stuff I'm not getting rid of knows no end. I think this is more to do with the space premium in here than the ammount of stuff...with such little space to put things, things get a bit piled up, unorganized, stuffed into tiny nooks and crannies that I'd simply forgotten about. Rest assured FLY lady would be horrified to see me hold on to the ammount of crap I'm keeping, but I've tossed so much, and there's only so far I'm willing to toss right now!
As you might imagine I'm very stressed and my nerves are pretty frayed. Between packing and coping with the financial strain this has put us under I've had to take on extra responsibilities at work (part of the contract from the beginning now that I've been signed off of probation and am a fully trained member of the team as it were) which has affected my day to day routine, and ChildLine has been putting on all of its refresher training and workshops. Everything seems to be getting on top of me, so many things I need to remember, though I must be doing it well enough because I've yet to forget anything. I find it difficult to talk about because I feel like a whinging baby, this is after all what being a grown up is all about, right? The other week I had a phone assesment for counselling which my doctor is pressing me to take, and the attitude was so bad it reinforced my feeling whingy.
Of course all this stress and upset has a knock on effect and I've spent the past month or so basically in one big massive binge. I stopped even looking at the scale. I can feel it in myself, I've put so much weight back on. I'm trying to coax myself back into eating healthily, and on the whole my main meals are still very healthy and wholesome. It's everything I stuff in my face between times.
We all go through tough times. Times have been worse before now, I got through them and I'll get through this. I'm really dissapointed in myself for the over eating, but I will get control of it again no doubt. If I have to claw my way to my goals I will, with blood sweat and tears. But first things first, lets get into more comfortable surroundings.
I really cannot wait to be in my new home :)
