Six Word Saturday (along the lines of a dieting rant)

Why has my willpower forsaken me?

I don't want to turn this into a ramble of self pity. Oh woe is me. I'm guilty. There is only one person who forced me to eat 90% of a loaf of bread within 24 hours, leaving the other 10% for my poor exasperated husband, after all, and it wasn't an evil leprechaun on my shoulder whispering temptation my way. Also, I understand that may sound a little bit over the top, but I'm not exaggerating, it's not the first time I've done this (though hopefully the last).

What it is is just pure disbelief at myself. I've often said there were two me's. There's the me that gets emotional and upset, the me that gets depressed and thinks silly, silly thoughts from time to time, the me that, well, binges on entire loaves of bread.

Then there's the me which doesn't run on raw emotion, which knows, logically and sensibly, this isn't going to help anything. It's the higher self, the part of me which sits and observes (I always imagined this part of me as a little white fairy which flits around, hovering just above and behind my head) and is the source of my intellect. The lower is just me, my body, the primal beast running on an auto pilot which has been programmed by millions of years worth of evolution and about 24 years of bad habits. The little fairy watches the brutish beast and she can scream all she wants, when the beast is on the hunt there is nothing that can stop it except tug on the frayed stringy leash of will power.

Sadly, the little white fairy seems to have lost the leash of will power, or else it has frayed beyond all repair and broke as the beast tugged too hard, driven by its terrible primal instincts.

Today's post is brought to you by the little white fairy that hovers over the beast's head. She would like to point out to the beast that after a wobbly start to the week, she did really well up until Thursday. But even then it didn't have to be all bad. But no. One bad day...

But this got the little white fairy thinking (as she is prone to doing). How badly does one bad beastly day mess the diet up? She counts the beasts calorie intake fastidiously these days, through the good days and the bad she is there with a pen and paper (or she just tugs on the beasts strings and the beast sits down to type it up) to scribble down her calculations and she knows that the beasts body does not live on a given number of calories a day and then stores what is the remainder each night. The body is more complex than this and calories are used and burned and stored and released over longer periods of time.


So a little glimmer of hope that when all added up together, the calories consumed by the beast this week add up to almost exactly her roughly calculated basal metabolic rate (the amount of calories the body requires to maintain the status quo and keep its basic functions ticking over if it lay down and didn't move) so since the beast has not just sat around motionless all week, the fairy hopes that this will equate to a loss in the beasts mass, or at least to remain the same and not have put on...


But still, all this talk of fairies and beasts aside, I was quite releaved to see that overall not too much damage was done this week calorie wise, but I'm still struggling to loose and I can only hope that things will pick up next week. I've already planned my meals out and on the understanding that I keep to my resolve and my willpower, I'll be well on my way for a loss next week. Fingers crossed!