Wednesday 2 February 2011

Irritation!

I've spent most of today getting angry, terribly terribly angry, and upset, with my landlord and one of his minions. I could rant here about it, but I have promised not to turn this into a harsh blog of ranting. Ben would only win. So, since it is the challenge to write a post every day, I turn to NaBloPoMo's prompt for the day for my inspiration.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Think about someone who annoys you. Write a list of everything you don't like about them, and then write a list of all the things that you're grateful that they've shown you about yourself.

Oh dear. It looks like however I do this, ranting is going to be involved. However, I shall try my best to be good.

Think about someone who annyos me. Well, sadly I'm a terribly irritable person. I could write a paragraph about most of the people I know regarding what they do that I don't like. Most people will annoy me once or twice a day.

Thankfully, I eventually learned from my prevous mistakes. In other words, I realised a few years back that I couldn't just continue to push people and 'get back' at them for every minor transgression and little annoyance. Ok to me they weren't just little annoyances, they were big annoyances that every one else thought were small. We all get annoyed at people and this is why we gossip and bitch and rant to our peers. I get annoyed at Ben so I rant it to my mum. I get annoyed at my mum so I rant to Ben. It's just the great circle of life.

Of course if you have a blog then you can just go ahead and rant to the world, but as I learned, that can end up burning you. That is why I'm trying my best to keep this blog nice, with a pleasant overtone. I'm not promising I won't moan, but I will not rant. I will also not start picking on individuals. Even if I didn't name them, the last thing I want is for a friend to read this and become paranoid that I am talking about them. Nor would I want an individual who I was talking about to use the fact that it is up here for all to see as a weapon against me.

So I shall tell you what people in general do that annoys me. That way you can all be upset and paranoid together!

They (or you haha) seem to run headlong into ridiculous situations. You fall over and cry about it and you don't even attempt to see a way out. Often logic stares you in the face and you will ignore it, or complain about it. You are all terribly competitive, you have to be the best, and everyone has to know about it too. Other things that annoy me are self centredness, which seems to be epidemic amongst the general population, huge ego's, and above all else, people who put you down without provocation. For example, my last day at work before I went on leave to get married, all I seemed to get from one particular member of staff who clearly didn't 'believe' in the institution of marriage was put downs...making sure I knew that half of all marriages end in divorce (I don't even know if that's the correct figure, but it was the one he was quoting). You know, that whole pushing your belief system on someone else or tearing down theirs for no justifiable reason...yeah...that annoys me so so so much.

So yes. Humanity. You all frigging annoy me. From my closest confidants to little children in the street, I confess, you irritate the hell out of me. I can pretty much guarantee that something you have said or done will have at some point irritated me.

And now for the dose of humility. The things I am so, so greatful to you all for teaching me about myself:

1 - I have issues with addressing the problems in my life. Either I am too scared to do something about them, or I just don't see a way out. More often than not, it's just laziness...the way out is not easy so I can't be bothered. I can spot yours from a mile off, I can role my eyes and scoff, but when it comes to mine? Na ah. If I were one of you, I would be seriously irritating my own good self.

2 - I'm a terribly jealous person. If I am annoyed at you for being competitive, it is only because I am jealous, and I don't like the feeling of jealousy. I try to avoid it, it makes me feel sick and ill and anxious. I have enough problems with anxiety as is, so I avoid situations in which I can become jealous. However, when people actively try to rub it in my face that they have something I want, or that they are better or I worse, whether or not they conciously do this, it just annoys and upsets me.

3 - I am the most self centred person on the planet. I think I do a pretty good job of either compensating for it or hiding it, but either way I know one day the bubble will burst and people will be sick of catering to me. Still, at least I know it and can try to make up for it. Either way, such is my self centredness that when other people try to muscle in on the action (as opposed to waiting their turn...which I must designate) it annoys me. Because it's my show you're stealing.

4 - You have taught me one good thing about myself, if nothing else. You have taught me that underneath all of the above character flaws and all my sheer laziness, I still do have a spark of passion in there for something. I often moan that I don't know what to do with my life, I lack drive and ambition and I have so many silly little interests. I am the very essence of "jack of all trades master of none". Indeed, if it weren't for you guys annoying me so much, I would probably have a fitting argument that I just don't care at all about anything much. But clearly I do, even if they are somewhat intangible concepts such as marriage and love and spirituality as opposed to solid firm things that you can hold in your hands and measure, such as cold hard cash or how many promotions you've had or how many endangered species your particular conservation project has brought back from the brink.

So yes. I am greatful to you and your judgmental ways for making me realise I actually do hold strong convictions and beliefs and passions. I just haven't found a way to apply them yet :p

1 comment:

  1. What a funny post. And a positive outlook too- not trying to bring people down individually. GOod for you. :)

    ReplyDelete

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